Love

I wrote this not too long ago, and uh I posted it first on Myspace, so yay for copy & paste!

Have you ever been lost in a world waiting for someone to pick you up? Or find you?

Have you ever felt like you waited forever for someone that belonged to you? That was right for you, perfect in every way? Make your heart stop when they touch you? Miss them as soon as they walk out the door, and long for them until they return?

LOVE is a funny thing isn't it? How does one know if they're in love? I've told countless guys "I love you" but now as I think about it, think of how I pushed each one out of my life through boredom, I wonder what love really feels like.

It's within human nature to want your space. We have jobs, school, kids... But when you love, aren't you supposed to want to be in their arms forever? Until the sun and moon both tire from shining light into your worlds?

Love seems so inhuman. How quickly love changes when one runs out money! How quickly feelings fall when anniversary is forgotten, though it's just a man's nature I suppose.

Because we are so human, love seems so unattainable. How can we love when the real world expects so much? Only those who know they've got can love, if it's worth it that is. Or maybe I am too impatient, and needy to hold on long enough for this so called love. Is love necessary? Sure humans need physical interaction but is it necessary, to love. I feel as though My complexities make it impossible for anyone to be able to take care of my daily battles. It's sad of how normal one must be to actually satisfy the needs of a relationship...I am far from normal, I am...corrupt?

I wonder why fictitious love characters break my heart so much? As I read, I want my life taken, just so I too can be in this unreal love as someone reads my actions. Why is this so?

As I read Twilight which caught my attention, solely on the thought of vampires, I was saddened at what love this FICTIONAL character received. I enjoyed the book right down to the epilogue, but this ordinary girl, ordinary like I (or maybe not), and millions of people with a sound heart & mind...maybe I'm a little far from "sound", but this ordinary girl getting all this attention, because Edward Cullen saw something. Besides her "luscious smell" he loved her clumsiness, & her blushes, and all in between. I guess it's simple to say I envied a fictitious and inhuman love. Or is it inhuman?

Is love what it really states itself to be? I have to believe so. HUMAN LOVE is sex, fights, hugs & kisses, moments of emptiness, recreation, more fights, trust-broken, unhappiness, sadness, struggles, attachment for comfort, and sex at the end of the day.

Love is so inhuman, not real, yet I long for its unrelenting burden & feel it gives me. But I feel as though I lack those proper principles to complete the process of this /human love/ or maybe I look into all the wrong places...