All I Wanna Do Is...

..really all I want to do is sleep, but now that I have slipped back onto the alluring computer I feel the need to write a blog. Nothing has rocked me in particular today, I just want to talk about some stuff I suppose. Blogger doesn't seem the place really where my ideas will escape so I think I'm safe. Ha! So first I will talk about some Music then talk about how I am feeling in my current position I life.

First things first. My title is from Paper Planes by M.I.A. It's a really nice song really. I am currently listening to Robocop by Kanye West, and boy do I want to hate this guy but that another blog entirely. It sounds like there are two versions to this song? The one I am listening to now seems more hip hop then the first one I listened too. Well I listened to a few other ones and apprently I am wrong. Hmm, that's very strange though. Let's see, there is a remix to "Live Your Life" with Elly Ess that I think is pretty hot. In fact Elly Ess is amazing. After that I went searching for a bunch of reggae which I had falling off of. Beanie Man has been putting out a couple good songs. Makes me happy to have something to dance to when I am alone in my room. My favorite is called, "Back it up" by the way. Let's see. I don't think I have heard any song I disliked...oh wait, there's Beyonce' the song called "If I Were A Boy" really irks me. She makes me dislike slow songs like I used to, it's way too slow for me and I am sure Ciara has a few words for her, though, "To each her own." Still though, like the song is...I couldn't even make my way through the first minute but I know people die for this song. I do like "Single Ladies" I believe it's called. Now that is a nice song ya know. The video is simple, and the dancing is great so applaud to her. So I think that's all I have to ramble on about music. It's now 3:41 AM and I am wondering how I will get without hitting the snooze this morning. That will be a task. Eep! Just to finish off I found a song by Lil Wayne that may be slightly old but it's called "I Can Take Your Girl." I like this song! I love when Wayne shows his soft side! *tear*

So there's a lot of stuff on my mind. As usual it's mostly related to men! Or boys, I mean I guess it would depend on who I'm referring to. Let's start with something simpler. Like what next college semester may have in store for me. First I may have to take some new science classes because Anatomy lab and Biochem Lecture are not flying this semester! Yeah I gave up on Biochem after studying for 3 hours and failing the test the next day. And no I did not cram. So I suppose next semester will be crammed with more General Ed. classes, and then a few summers on campus and hopefully by the time I am 21 I can kiss college goodbye. I will give up 1 year of college for anything!! Really the length of time you spend in school is so ridiculous and if I didn't love kids I would be over at Bob Evans taking those orders! I really dislike waiting on people though and really being a server is a horrible job. I think my next blog will be: "How to treat your server when eating out." Some people are unnecesarily rude and do stupid things like coming in 5 minutes before closing.

Next, and lastly on my mind and honestly this is what fills my mind all day besides how my mother is doing, and how my life is going, but love is what prods me. Well, so far my life is surprisingly seeming okay. I think right now I am just stable and that's what will keep me sane for hopefully a few months.

I am listening to that Lil Wayne song I mentioned in the beginning and it just seems so sweet. Like it is like Wayne likes this girl and he wants her, and Wayne gets what he effin wants! I think the fact that it's just not about some guy rapping about how many girls he screwed, or how many blunts he smoked, he's actually showing some feelings that you may or may not have to dig through, and it's nice like, "P****, Money, Weed" also by Wayne. My point being more guys should express their feelings and stop thinking it's gay! Because it's not. I don't mean smother a chick with love...it IS also nice to know that your man is strong enough to fight any dangers coming through the front door. *sniff*

On that note, I wonder what love feels like lmao. I still question if I've felt it. I think I've wanted it so much that I have forced it. Hmm, I think I need to be feeling something for someone that I would no one else. That makes sense right? You love your friends and parent(s) and pet a different way, so a boyfriend/girlfriend should feel different right? Hmm, see what happens? I think. I just made a discovery. Maybe my exes were friends with benefits? Can you really love someone within a matter of 2-3 months? In the year I was single I grew up a bit because I don't throw guys away because they bore me anymore. So that's a big change for me!

What else is on my mind...well, besides the bed, the only thing bugging me is: Who the hell will I be marrying!? Like I wonder if I will end up a single parent...If I am not deeply in love with someone by 2018, maybe sooner, I will be a single parent (you are allowed to adopt as a single parent!), if cat hoarding hasn't caught up with me first! I wonder if I will marry young like I want to? With my rather selfish ways I see it unlikely but a nice thought! I just wonder a lot and hate it. My curiosity is large and constantly wants to be fulfilled (which may have been why I chose Nursing as a major), and I think it bothers me that my relationships seem so Dead-End, and that I may never find that "soul-mate". Though he could be under my nose...

One last thing to say: How can an Aries even have a soul-mate!? Does anyone know the traits on an Aries? I will tell you to save time, and when finished, I feel it gives more insight on my problems.

P.S. I don't believe in Soul Mates, I think that people are able to have more than one person that they can handle for the rest of their life, and yes some better than others, but maybe not ONE person. Like, do you know how hard that would be?? Yet I do still want one! Lol

Traits of an Aries: Now Arians are pretty damn awesome, I mean come on, we are FIRST in the zodiac. That's just awesome in itself. NOTE: The below does not apply to everyone under this sign and some people question astrology entirely so think of it as me making fun of my sign and blaming it for my horrible relationships!

#1) "...horns of the ram, the leader of the flock." I mean that right there is asking for trouble if you ask me. How many men want a female running the show? I am quite docile though for the most part.

#2) "You can also be impatient and outspoken. Your eagerness can seem pushy and your assertiveness can easily become aggression.
You are the pioneers of the zodiac." So, I don't get mad easily but I usually say what I want if I feel it's necessary and it's frustrating when I am not heard, so in that sense I can get angry. And if I guy let's me be assertive I take advantage that, but sometimes I like to be told to step down. ;)

#3) "They do not easily forgive their enemies, although they are rarely tempted to seek revenge for their wrongs." You're damn right I don't, but revenge sounds nice sometimes...actually I think this has nothing to do with relationships, it was just interesting.

#4) "The female destroys her best talents through jealousy..." Well now, no man likes a jealous woman!

#5) "Women born in Aries are impatient of long seams, or the finishing-off or filling-in process. They see how a thing looks at the start, and expect somebody else to do the work." Not gonna lie, lol, this one sounds a lot like me. Wish someone would finish college for me damnit. And uh, I'm sure some men out don't care, but most want a woman that's a little supportive and not throwing everything on him? But I mean hey if I start, why can't you finish?

#6) "...and very fond of children. The impulse of sex is strong, and they are apt to make unhappy marriages." I figured I should throw a plus in there. Well, it's half a plus. Most men want to pass genes on to their children, and what guy doesn't mind sex 3x a day? I am assuming the unhappy marriage part may come from straying, who knows really?

#7) Selfishness As much as a guy may want it to be about him, it's not. It's about me. Never thought I was selfish, but I think I am, it's just not that obvious.

#8) "Another flaw in the Arian makeup is a fear of rejection. Rejection is near the top of their list of fears. If the Arian is not certain of acceptance, to avoid rejection, they do the rejecting first." Really though, this is the way to go! It IS a good defense. Maybe that's why I broke up with all those...anywho, I am sure most men don't look forward to being dumped but really, this is a great idea!!!??? COME ON, that shouldn't even be a negative trait.

Links: http://www.psychicsconnect.com/astrology/traits_aries.asp#
http://zodiacsign.mrgoodman.com/zodiacsignsoffire.html
http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/aries.htm

Goodnight, it is 4:47 AM and I have about 5 hours to sleep!