Women & Men. You may believe that from the title I want to discuss women and men as a whole. Well that's where you're wrong. I want to discuss them seperately. This is really just a rant. A rant on why I dislike about 80% of women, and why most men piss me off.
Let's start with the men because it's very simple. I do indeed like a man with bulging arm muscles, and beautiful eyes, and because of this, I could never say, "Hey, too many men have disrespected me, so I want to try to be a lesbian." Though there's more to that, and you will understand when I begin to discuss my dislike of women.
But men tend to endlessly hurt me. I find a guy who I believe is my world and he decides to dry up my world and leave me homeless. (How about that for P.O.W.?)Yes, sometimes I have myself thrown a guy to the curb, but most likely it would not have worked out between us. I have such a large heart (not because of those bacon cheese fries either), that I want to give to a man one day, that I cannot stop liking men. Men can hurt me until I have no more emotion left to give, but I won't stop trying. I just know if that a b****y woman can find a good guy to beat up on, that I can find a great guy to love me.
I like to think of myself of Wifey Material. Though a lot of people my age aren't ready to be married. Regardless, I would like to believe that I am sweet, and loving, and other attributes that won't leave me and my man arguing every day out of our lives. But, what about Hubby Material? I can't do all the work I suppose. Where's that guy who won't make fun of me knowing I'm sensitive, or the guy who cherishes every inch of my body, pregnant or not, wrinkly or not, saggy breasts, or not. I know every man has things they like in a woman. Some men don't want a girl who is sweet. They want someone who will beat their neighbor's butt when they let their dog take a crap on the lawn. I don't know why, I think that's something I will never understand. I thought men liked to feel like a man? I guess to each their own. I suppose if you are more of a vocal person, outgoing and such, you really wouldn't want someone who hides in the crowd. Correct? Though I am in no way saying a woman should put yourself below a man. They should be equal.
Nonetheless, why is it so hard to find a good faithful man? I don't know how many men I have met that just gave up on being a good guy because they've been hurt too much. It's really annoying and rather weak. When I am hurt, I may say, "Man, Eff dudes, I don't want to deal with them anymore...etc" But in a couple weeks/months (depending), I am healed and get over it and I'm back at it. I may be wary of new guys, but you learn to watch body language and make sure they're not playing games. Such as: If a man is lagging ahead of you, or even behind, he is probably not interested with you (relationship wise) and I suggest you hold onto your feelings and see what the guy is up to. So it's sad to see good guys be turned into cold men who don't trust anymore, it just leaves less & less opportunity for a good woman to find her lover. It can be so frustrating to think a guy really likes you and find out it was all a trick. So in that sense I am cautious on who I give my heart to, or how I act, but I will never stop being the sweet Wifey!!
So this all leads up to women. It's time to stop blaming men on being liars and cheaters...women are just better at it. I have never had someone who I can say is my best friend. I do know someone who is pretty damn close though. She is a cool chick, and I like her as a friend a lot. Otherwise, girls I have encountered are so quick to turn on you. They can be phony and evil. I don't bother to make friends with girls because it's rather pointless. Grown women even act childish and I am definitely not up for that. I would rather hang out with a bunch of guys before I hang out with one female. I would take the chance of being raped before putting myself into a situation of a possible fight, probably over something stupid.
No, not all women are bad, but most I have met are. Plus I do not find it important to need to have them around me. Hormones & attitude I do not need. People talking behind my back, I do not need. People threatening my life...I DO NOT NEED. If I wanted a bitch I will buy a dog.
I choose very carefully whom I further relationships with, and if I don't need to talk to a female I won't. I may seem cold & boring, and rather unsocial if you're a female who has met me, but it's not even that. I just don't need to put myself in the middle of drama and females will be the first to start some drama. And over what? A Boy? Sometimes even because you got a bad attitude? I gave up my attitude in middle school and I don't like to fight. I don't handle people yelling at me for B.S. very well and it won't end pretty because I will fight unfairly if the tools are there. If there's a pipe I'll crack you in the head with it. Point blank. It's simple. So I don't bother. I would love to have a best friend but I need someone with a demeanor as sweet as mine. And women like that are as hard to find as a DAMN GOOD MAN.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Friday, November 7, 2008
Wife Swap
I'm sure most people have seen, or heard of this show. It's where two mothers trade places for awhile and try to "improve" the others lives. There's just a lot of problems with the show. When religion is added in, it's very discouraging because the opposing religion is taking the opportunity to change the others mindset. Families get very upset when they are told how to raise their children, or what kind of rules to set. This is reality TV at its greatest, and though I watch it, I just don't think its a nice show morally, and this is my opinion.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
All I Wanna Do Is...
..really all I want to do is sleep, but now that I have slipped back onto the alluring computer I feel the need to write a blog. Nothing has rocked me in particular today, I just want to talk about some stuff I suppose. Blogger doesn't seem the place really where my ideas will escape so I think I'm safe. Ha! So first I will talk about some Music then talk about how I am feeling in my current position I life.
First things first. My title is from Paper Planes by M.I.A. It's a really nice song really. I am currently listening to Robocop by Kanye West, and boy do I want to hate this guy but that another blog entirely. It sounds like there are two versions to this song? The one I am listening to now seems more hip hop then the first one I listened too. Well I listened to a few other ones and apprently I am wrong. Hmm, that's very strange though. Let's see, there is a remix to "Live Your Life" with Elly Ess that I think is pretty hot. In fact Elly Ess is amazing. After that I went searching for a bunch of reggae which I had falling off of. Beanie Man has been putting out a couple good songs. Makes me happy to have something to dance to when I am alone in my room. My favorite is called, "Back it up" by the way. Let's see. I don't think I have heard any song I disliked...oh wait, there's Beyonce' the song called "If I Were A Boy" really irks me. She makes me dislike slow songs like I used to, it's way too slow for me and I am sure Ciara has a few words for her, though, "To each her own." Still though, like the song is...I couldn't even make my way through the first minute but I know people die for this song. I do like "Single Ladies" I believe it's called. Now that is a nice song ya know. The video is simple, and the dancing is great so applaud to her. So I think that's all I have to ramble on about music. It's now 3:41 AM and I am wondering how I will get without hitting the snooze this morning. That will be a task. Eep! Just to finish off I found a song by Lil Wayne that may be slightly old but it's called "I Can Take Your Girl." I like this song! I love when Wayne shows his soft side! *tear*
So there's a lot of stuff on my mind. As usual it's mostly related to men! Or boys, I mean I guess it would depend on who I'm referring to. Let's start with something simpler. Like what next college semester may have in store for me. First I may have to take some new science classes because Anatomy lab and Biochem Lecture are not flying this semester! Yeah I gave up on Biochem after studying for 3 hours and failing the test the next day. And no I did not cram. So I suppose next semester will be crammed with more General Ed. classes, and then a few summers on campus and hopefully by the time I am 21 I can kiss college goodbye. I will give up 1 year of college for anything!! Really the length of time you spend in school is so ridiculous and if I didn't love kids I would be over at Bob Evans taking those orders! I really dislike waiting on people though and really being a server is a horrible job. I think my next blog will be: "How to treat your server when eating out." Some people are unnecesarily rude and do stupid things like coming in 5 minutes before closing.
Next, and lastly on my mind and honestly this is what fills my mind all day besides how my mother is doing, and how my life is going, but love is what prods me. Well, so far my life is surprisingly seeming okay. I think right now I am just stable and that's what will keep me sane for hopefully a few months.
I am listening to that Lil Wayne song I mentioned in the beginning and it just seems so sweet. Like it is like Wayne likes this girl and he wants her, and Wayne gets what he effin wants! I think the fact that it's just not about some guy rapping about how many girls he screwed, or how many blunts he smoked, he's actually showing some feelings that you may or may not have to dig through, and it's nice like, "P****, Money, Weed" also by Wayne. My point being more guys should express their feelings and stop thinking it's gay! Because it's not. I don't mean smother a chick with love...it IS also nice to know that your man is strong enough to fight any dangers coming through the front door. *sniff*
On that note, I wonder what love feels like lmao. I still question if I've felt it. I think I've wanted it so much that I have forced it. Hmm, I think I need to be feeling something for someone that I would no one else. That makes sense right? You love your friends and parent(s) and pet a different way, so a boyfriend/girlfriend should feel different right? Hmm, see what happens? I think. I just made a discovery. Maybe my exes were friends with benefits? Can you really love someone within a matter of 2-3 months? In the year I was single I grew up a bit because I don't throw guys away because they bore me anymore. So that's a big change for me!
What else is on my mind...well, besides the bed, the only thing bugging me is: Who the hell will I be marrying!? Like I wonder if I will end up a single parent...If I am not deeply in love with someone by 2018, maybe sooner, I will be a single parent (you are allowed to adopt as a single parent!), if cat hoarding hasn't caught up with me first! I wonder if I will marry young like I want to? With my rather selfish ways I see it unlikely but a nice thought! I just wonder a lot and hate it. My curiosity is large and constantly wants to be fulfilled (which may have been why I chose Nursing as a major), and I think it bothers me that my relationships seem so Dead-End, and that I may never find that "soul-mate". Though he could be under my nose...
One last thing to say: How can an Aries even have a soul-mate!? Does anyone know the traits on an Aries? I will tell you to save time, and when finished, I feel it gives more insight on my problems.
P.S. I don't believe in Soul Mates, I think that people are able to have more than one person that they can handle for the rest of their life, and yes some better than others, but maybe not ONE person. Like, do you know how hard that would be?? Yet I do still want one! Lol
Traits of an Aries: Now Arians are pretty damn awesome, I mean come on, we are FIRST in the zodiac. That's just awesome in itself. NOTE: The below does not apply to everyone under this sign and some people question astrology entirely so think of it as me making fun of my sign and blaming it for my horrible relationships!
#1) "...horns of the ram, the leader of the flock." I mean that right there is asking for trouble if you ask me. How many men want a female running the show? I am quite docile though for the most part.
#2) "You can also be impatient and outspoken. Your eagerness can seem pushy and your assertiveness can easily become aggression.
You are the pioneers of the zodiac." So, I don't get mad easily but I usually say what I want if I feel it's necessary and it's frustrating when I am not heard, so in that sense I can get angry. And if I guy let's me be assertive I take advantage that, but sometimes I like to be told to step down. ;)
#3) "They do not easily forgive their enemies, although they are rarely tempted to seek revenge for their wrongs." You're damn right I don't, but revenge sounds nice sometimes...actually I think this has nothing to do with relationships, it was just interesting.
#4) "The female destroys her best talents through jealousy..." Well now, no man likes a jealous woman!
#5) "Women born in Aries are impatient of long seams, or the finishing-off or filling-in process. They see how a thing looks at the start, and expect somebody else to do the work." Not gonna lie, lol, this one sounds a lot like me. Wish someone would finish college for me damnit. And uh, I'm sure some men out don't care, but most want a woman that's a little supportive and not throwing everything on him? But I mean hey if I start, why can't you finish?
#6) "...and very fond of children. The impulse of sex is strong, and they are apt to make unhappy marriages." I figured I should throw a plus in there. Well, it's half a plus. Most men want to pass genes on to their children, and what guy doesn't mind sex 3x a day? I am assuming the unhappy marriage part may come from straying, who knows really?
#7) Selfishness As much as a guy may want it to be about him, it's not. It's about me. Never thought I was selfish, but I think I am, it's just not that obvious.
#8) "Another flaw in the Arian makeup is a fear of rejection. Rejection is near the top of their list of fears. If the Arian is not certain of acceptance, to avoid rejection, they do the rejecting first." Really though, this is the way to go! It IS a good defense. Maybe that's why I broke up with all those...anywho, I am sure most men don't look forward to being dumped but really, this is a great idea!!!??? COME ON, that shouldn't even be a negative trait.
Links: http://www.psychicsconnect.com/astrology/traits_aries.asp#
http://zodiacsign.mrgoodman.com/zodiacsignsoffire.html
http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/aries.htm
Goodnight, it is 4:47 AM and I have about 5 hours to sleep!
First things first. My title is from Paper Planes by M.I.A. It's a really nice song really. I am currently listening to Robocop by Kanye West, and boy do I want to hate this guy but that another blog entirely. It sounds like there are two versions to this song? The one I am listening to now seems more hip hop then the first one I listened too. Well I listened to a few other ones and apprently I am wrong. Hmm, that's very strange though. Let's see, there is a remix to "Live Your Life" with Elly Ess that I think is pretty hot. In fact Elly Ess is amazing. After that I went searching for a bunch of reggae which I had falling off of. Beanie Man has been putting out a couple good songs. Makes me happy to have something to dance to when I am alone in my room. My favorite is called, "Back it up" by the way. Let's see. I don't think I have heard any song I disliked...oh wait, there's Beyonce' the song called "If I Were A Boy" really irks me. She makes me dislike slow songs like I used to, it's way too slow for me and I am sure Ciara has a few words for her, though, "To each her own." Still though, like the song is...I couldn't even make my way through the first minute but I know people die for this song. I do like "Single Ladies" I believe it's called. Now that is a nice song ya know. The video is simple, and the dancing is great so applaud to her. So I think that's all I have to ramble on about music. It's now 3:41 AM and I am wondering how I will get without hitting the snooze this morning. That will be a task. Eep! Just to finish off I found a song by Lil Wayne that may be slightly old but it's called "I Can Take Your Girl." I like this song! I love when Wayne shows his soft side! *tear*
So there's a lot of stuff on my mind. As usual it's mostly related to men! Or boys, I mean I guess it would depend on who I'm referring to. Let's start with something simpler. Like what next college semester may have in store for me. First I may have to take some new science classes because Anatomy lab and Biochem Lecture are not flying this semester! Yeah I gave up on Biochem after studying for 3 hours and failing the test the next day. And no I did not cram. So I suppose next semester will be crammed with more General Ed. classes, and then a few summers on campus and hopefully by the time I am 21 I can kiss college goodbye. I will give up 1 year of college for anything!! Really the length of time you spend in school is so ridiculous and if I didn't love kids I would be over at Bob Evans taking those orders! I really dislike waiting on people though and really being a server is a horrible job. I think my next blog will be: "How to treat your server when eating out." Some people are unnecesarily rude and do stupid things like coming in 5 minutes before closing.
Next, and lastly on my mind and honestly this is what fills my mind all day besides how my mother is doing, and how my life is going, but love is what prods me. Well, so far my life is surprisingly seeming okay. I think right now I am just stable and that's what will keep me sane for hopefully a few months.
I am listening to that Lil Wayne song I mentioned in the beginning and it just seems so sweet. Like it is like Wayne likes this girl and he wants her, and Wayne gets what he effin wants! I think the fact that it's just not about some guy rapping about how many girls he screwed, or how many blunts he smoked, he's actually showing some feelings that you may or may not have to dig through, and it's nice like, "P****, Money, Weed" also by Wayne. My point being more guys should express their feelings and stop thinking it's gay! Because it's not. I don't mean smother a chick with love...it IS also nice to know that your man is strong enough to fight any dangers coming through the front door. *sniff*
On that note, I wonder what love feels like lmao. I still question if I've felt it. I think I've wanted it so much that I have forced it. Hmm, I think I need to be feeling something for someone that I would no one else. That makes sense right? You love your friends and parent(s) and pet a different way, so a boyfriend/girlfriend should feel different right? Hmm, see what happens? I think. I just made a discovery. Maybe my exes were friends with benefits? Can you really love someone within a matter of 2-3 months? In the year I was single I grew up a bit because I don't throw guys away because they bore me anymore. So that's a big change for me!
What else is on my mind...well, besides the bed, the only thing bugging me is: Who the hell will I be marrying!? Like I wonder if I will end up a single parent...If I am not deeply in love with someone by 2018, maybe sooner, I will be a single parent (you are allowed to adopt as a single parent!), if cat hoarding hasn't caught up with me first! I wonder if I will marry young like I want to? With my rather selfish ways I see it unlikely but a nice thought! I just wonder a lot and hate it. My curiosity is large and constantly wants to be fulfilled (which may have been why I chose Nursing as a major), and I think it bothers me that my relationships seem so Dead-End, and that I may never find that "soul-mate". Though he could be under my nose...
One last thing to say: How can an Aries even have a soul-mate!? Does anyone know the traits on an Aries? I will tell you to save time, and when finished, I feel it gives more insight on my problems.
P.S. I don't believe in Soul Mates, I think that people are able to have more than one person that they can handle for the rest of their life, and yes some better than others, but maybe not ONE person. Like, do you know how hard that would be?? Yet I do still want one! Lol
Traits of an Aries: Now Arians are pretty damn awesome, I mean come on, we are FIRST in the zodiac. That's just awesome in itself. NOTE: The below does not apply to everyone under this sign and some people question astrology entirely so think of it as me making fun of my sign and blaming it for my horrible relationships!
#1) "...horns of the ram, the leader of the flock." I mean that right there is asking for trouble if you ask me. How many men want a female running the show? I am quite docile though for the most part.
#2) "You can also be impatient and outspoken. Your eagerness can seem pushy and your assertiveness can easily become aggression.
You are the pioneers of the zodiac." So, I don't get mad easily but I usually say what I want if I feel it's necessary and it's frustrating when I am not heard, so in that sense I can get angry. And if I guy let's me be assertive I take advantage that, but sometimes I like to be told to step down. ;)
#3) "They do not easily forgive their enemies, although they are rarely tempted to seek revenge for their wrongs." You're damn right I don't, but revenge sounds nice sometimes...actually I think this has nothing to do with relationships, it was just interesting.
#4) "The female destroys her best talents through jealousy..." Well now, no man likes a jealous woman!
#5) "Women born in Aries are impatient of long seams, or the finishing-off or filling-in process. They see how a thing looks at the start, and expect somebody else to do the work." Not gonna lie, lol, this one sounds a lot like me. Wish someone would finish college for me damnit. And uh, I'm sure some men out don't care, but most want a woman that's a little supportive and not throwing everything on him? But I mean hey if I start, why can't you finish?
#6) "...and very fond of children. The impulse of sex is strong, and they are apt to make unhappy marriages." I figured I should throw a plus in there. Well, it's half a plus. Most men want to pass genes on to their children, and what guy doesn't mind sex 3x a day? I am assuming the unhappy marriage part may come from straying, who knows really?
#7) Selfishness As much as a guy may want it to be about him, it's not. It's about me. Never thought I was selfish, but I think I am, it's just not that obvious.
#8) "Another flaw in the Arian makeup is a fear of rejection. Rejection is near the top of their list of fears. If the Arian is not certain of acceptance, to avoid rejection, they do the rejecting first." Really though, this is the way to go! It IS a good defense. Maybe that's why I broke up with all those...anywho, I am sure most men don't look forward to being dumped but really, this is a great idea!!!??? COME ON, that shouldn't even be a negative trait.
Links: http://www.psychicsconnect.com/astrology/traits_aries.asp#
http://zodiacsign.mrgoodman.com/zodiacsignsoffire.html
http://www.findyourfate.com/astrology/aries.htm
Goodnight, it is 4:47 AM and I have about 5 hours to sleep!
Love
I wrote this not too long ago, and uh I posted it first on Myspace, so yay for copy & paste!
Have you ever been lost in a world waiting for someone to pick you up? Or find you?
Have you ever felt like you waited forever for someone that belonged to you? That was right for you, perfect in every way? Make your heart stop when they touch you? Miss them as soon as they walk out the door, and long for them until they return?
LOVE is a funny thing isn't it? How does one know if they're in love? I've told countless guys "I love you" but now as I think about it, think of how I pushed each one out of my life through boredom, I wonder what love really feels like.
It's within human nature to want your space. We have jobs, school, kids... But when you love, aren't you supposed to want to be in their arms forever? Until the sun and moon both tire from shining light into your worlds?
Love seems so inhuman. How quickly love changes when one runs out money! How quickly feelings fall when anniversary is forgotten, though it's just a man's nature I suppose.
Because we are so human, love seems so unattainable. How can we love when the real world expects so much? Only those who know they've got can love, if it's worth it that is. Or maybe I am too impatient, and needy to hold on long enough for this so called love. Is love necessary? Sure humans need physical interaction but is it necessary, to love. I feel as though My complexities make it impossible for anyone to be able to take care of my daily battles. It's sad of how normal one must be to actually satisfy the needs of a relationship...I am far from normal, I am...corrupt?
I wonder why fictitious love characters break my heart so much? As I read, I want my life taken, just so I too can be in this unreal love as someone reads my actions. Why is this so?
As I read Twilight which caught my attention, solely on the thought of vampires, I was saddened at what love this FICTIONAL character received. I enjoyed the book right down to the epilogue, but this ordinary girl, ordinary like I (or maybe not), and millions of people with a sound heart & mind...maybe I'm a little far from "sound", but this ordinary girl getting all this attention, because Edward Cullen saw something. Besides her "luscious smell" he loved her clumsiness, & her blushes, and all in between. I guess it's simple to say I envied a fictitious and inhuman love. Or is it inhuman?
Is love what it really states itself to be? I have to believe so. HUMAN LOVE is sex, fights, hugs & kisses, moments of emptiness, recreation, more fights, trust-broken, unhappiness, sadness, struggles, attachment for comfort, and sex at the end of the day.
Love is so inhuman, not real, yet I long for its unrelenting burden & feel it gives me. But I feel as though I lack those proper principles to complete the process of this /human love/ or maybe I look into all the wrong places...
Have you ever been lost in a world waiting for someone to pick you up? Or find you?
Have you ever felt like you waited forever for someone that belonged to you? That was right for you, perfect in every way? Make your heart stop when they touch you? Miss them as soon as they walk out the door, and long for them until they return?
LOVE is a funny thing isn't it? How does one know if they're in love? I've told countless guys "I love you" but now as I think about it, think of how I pushed each one out of my life through boredom, I wonder what love really feels like.
It's within human nature to want your space. We have jobs, school, kids... But when you love, aren't you supposed to want to be in their arms forever? Until the sun and moon both tire from shining light into your worlds?
Love seems so inhuman. How quickly love changes when one runs out money! How quickly feelings fall when anniversary is forgotten, though it's just a man's nature I suppose.
Because we are so human, love seems so unattainable. How can we love when the real world expects so much? Only those who know they've got can love, if it's worth it that is. Or maybe I am too impatient, and needy to hold on long enough for this so called love. Is love necessary? Sure humans need physical interaction but is it necessary, to love. I feel as though My complexities make it impossible for anyone to be able to take care of my daily battles. It's sad of how normal one must be to actually satisfy the needs of a relationship...I am far from normal, I am...corrupt?
I wonder why fictitious love characters break my heart so much? As I read, I want my life taken, just so I too can be in this unreal love as someone reads my actions. Why is this so?
As I read Twilight which caught my attention, solely on the thought of vampires, I was saddened at what love this FICTIONAL character received. I enjoyed the book right down to the epilogue, but this ordinary girl, ordinary like I (or maybe not), and millions of people with a sound heart & mind...maybe I'm a little far from "sound", but this ordinary girl getting all this attention, because Edward Cullen saw something. Besides her "luscious smell" he loved her clumsiness, & her blushes, and all in between. I guess it's simple to say I envied a fictitious and inhuman love. Or is it inhuman?
Is love what it really states itself to be? I have to believe so. HUMAN LOVE is sex, fights, hugs & kisses, moments of emptiness, recreation, more fights, trust-broken, unhappiness, sadness, struggles, attachment for comfort, and sex at the end of the day.
Love is so inhuman, not real, yet I long for its unrelenting burden & feel it gives me. But I feel as though I lack those proper principles to complete the process of this /human love/ or maybe I look into all the wrong places...
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