Black Lives Matter

It seems as though the whole Black Lives Matter thing toned down quite a bit in the media. Which is good. Maybe it's safe now to be on the opposite side of the whole thing! Now, I wholeheartedly believe that racism is alive and well in the world. There's no doubt about that. The people who disagree have probably never ever experienced it (I haven't myself in person, but I'm not an idiot, and people tend to be a lot more comfortable to express their true selves when behind a computer...ahem) or don't know anyone who has.

However, that does not mean that I think the Black Lives Matter campaign was/is necessary. The media truly played the people of America and I think that is what is the most sad. Black people are not the only ones being shot by white cops, yet that is all we see on TV. Now, do I think that some of the situations could have been handled differently by the police officers? Absolutely. Do I think some police officers are racist? Of course. Generally speaking though, killing people is not something that normal, sane people do happily. It messes you up. Even when you think, and/or know you had all right to do it. You still took a life. So what people are pretty much saying is that we have a ton of police officers, who all of a sudden in 2016 decided to take a stand, all across the country, and kill all the black people? Come on now. The media...is...playing...you. They want you to be riled up. Why? Because they get more views. More people now then ever are watching to see if someone else has been carelessly shot to share it on social media. Then you are following them on Facebook, and your Facebook share just got someone else to tune into the news to see the development. Then you hold a rally, and who's there to watch it? The local news station watching you block streets and traffic for a cause.

I wish that, black people could come together the way they did for Black Lives Matter for more pertinent causes. Such as, not killing each other, hell how about not killing anyone at all? I've noticed that whenever I, or others, try to bring up this case it quickly gets shot down as: "It's not the same." or, "This is more important." or just any excuse to return to the cops. There has to be a time where you begin to heal. Where you begin to forgive. Where you begin to move forward. We need to make this country better for our children. No one is rallying for more black-owned businesses, or helping anyone to succeed in doing so. No one is rallying for the black person that graduated college. No one is helping those with the lesser opportunities to even go to college and better themselves, or to give them any kind of opportunity so they don't feel that a life of drugs and violence is the only way. We have to clean up our own backyard first.

Pemphigus Foliaceus

So, nothing has really rocked my world in a while, or at least I haven't felt the need to write a blog on a topic in a very very very....long while. So now that we're over the awkward introduction, I'm here to talk about something new that has definitely rocked my world... And since it seems to be rare, I don't have a lot of sources where I can discuss my issue in depth, so why not talk to a blank wall? :P At least in this regard I would have a way to voice my concerns, opinions and record my disease track.

So as of April 9th, 2012 I was diagnosed with Pemphigus Foliaceous (from now on referred to as PF). I started noticing these scars since... about August/September 2011, this is a rough estimate because I am terrible with dates which is completely why I should probably keep track of these things more often. So I saw a doctor, because I needed a check up anyways, but more so because I thought this was a rash that would go away, and since it didn't, I saw a doctor. She had no clue what it was, thought it was a rash as well, and suggested I see a dermatologist. I tried to contact a dermatologist at a large hospital, but was told I probably won't get in until December/January. It was around October/November at this time, and I'm just thinking "I could die before someone sees me, thanks a lot." (and this was before knowing the seriousness of some forms of Pemphigus). So I kept calling around until I got into contact with a small "clinic" (not sure what to call it), who said I could come in the next day. Awesome! I'm there! I'm impulsive and like answers right away (though I'm not necessarily one to give answers right away). So I go in, and he has no idea what it is either. He takes a biopsy (ouch!), and after a week or so I return for still inconclusive results, but narrowed down to four things. So he starts me on prednisone and reading the side effects were scary, but I took it. When I discovered that people take 100mg of this stuff and I was only on 20mg, it felt like a walk in the park. After a couple months of this prednisone and getting down to 5mg, to have an irritated tattoo (gotten in January), and still more blisters, he referred me off to another physician who was more specialized and had access to better testing tools. This was the beginning of April. He takes another biopsy (this was not painful!), and I get stitch. When I return I'm confirmed of my diagnosis of pemphigus (yay?), put on Dapsone, and Prednisone with Vitamin D3 and Calcium. So every morning I take 4 pills... I'll get into the "luxuries" of having an autoimmune disease later.

What is Pemphigus?
Pemphigus is a group of rare autoimmune diseases that cause blisters. There are several types of Pemphigus, but the two main ones are:
Pemphigus Vulgaris (PV) is the most commonly diagnosed and the most painful. Sores can and usually do involve the mucous membranes (mouth, throat, etc.
Pemphigus Foliaceous (PF) does not usually attack mucous membranes and the blisters are usually superficial and itchy.
Pemphigus is not contagious, it just looks very bad...

www.pemphigus.org is a great resource if anyone is interested in depth about more information. They have a lot of great information.

My (non)Luxuries
So, before I was diagnosed with this...disease, I could wake up late and skip breakfast, shower for ever, etc.
Since I have to take medication in the morning, skipping breakfast is not an option. I have to eat something, and with taking four pills, I might as well just eat a full breakfast because personally I have to have something solid go down my throat after each pill. I might get over that, but for now I can't just take pills back to back.

As for dressing, I can't wear whatever I want. At least I choose not to. I have to cover my back up because that's where most of my scars are, and I'm ashamed to expose them. So certain dresses I can't wear without a  sweater or something to go over it. So much for me getting over my insecurity of exposing my back before this, now it's even worse, lol. It's also extended to my shoulders, so if I have an open sore surrounded by these dark spots (or just the spots themselves!) I have to choose something with sleeves/longer sleeves. I used to be a cutter when I was younger, and having to cover up those voluntary scars is not as annoying as having to cover up things I have no control over (yet).

Also, being intimate can be a touchy topic. If I were married, fine whatever, but I don't even have a boyfriend, so trying to explain why my face, neck, back, etc., looks like someone put their cigarette out on me can be annoying. But luckily I'm not even dating frequently or if at all really. But to get intimate with someone can be hard if you are still self-conscious. I'm going from pretty much flawless skin to...this.

If you are not a makeup person, you may become one after because of the attempt to cover up some of the scars and appear presentable. I've thought about it, but I'm still kind of reluctant.


For now I'm going to cut this short, and attempt to get back to this later but I really did want to start getting all of this out.

Black Couple Has Sextuplets

http://newsone.com/nation/casey-gane-mccalla/black-couple-gives-birth-to-sextuplets-in-columbus/

I had not realized how much I curse(d). I should work on that lol. That will be my goal. It actually disturbed me a bit to read it, but I don't feel like changing it all lol.

Anywho, a couple in Columbus has had six kids. That's great. Glad I don't live in Columbus. Wish someone in my city would have six kids. Lol, I'm just kidding. My blog is not only here to ooh and ahh at things (and have you seen that family photo? Precious.), but to also analyze them and break them down as my mind sees fit, so before I continue, keep in  mind I am happy for them, and that I am not saying people should NOT use fertility treatments, because if I have to I'll be for it in a heartbeat. Trying for kids cannot be an easy task and having to look to medical help to have them I'm sure is not the best feeling in the world. And as if Octomom and Kate Gosselin aren't example enough that multiples are possible, this is still remarkable because obviously these babies are always born prematurely and cannot reach full term. That already risks your child for problems in the future. They can be behind developmentally and may not even survive to go home because they are so small. I feel more people should think of their children's future, I sometimes see it as very selfish, you cannot leave something unnatural to be in God's hands. Because I believe in Free will, I do not believe God intervenes and I think the common Christian would disagree and that is fine. But I'm typing here. Lol. I do believe in miracles, but I think they are just that, miracles, something unexplainable.

So, I say it's unnatural because in all of these women's cases the babies were born unnaturally, and since you had the babies with help, it should be upon one's initiative to do it with care. If I ever have to go through a fertility treatment and can choose the amount of eggs I want placed in, I most certainly would not put in more than 2 or 3 at a time. This may be more costly, but in the long run i would be able to clothe and feed my babies, because I assume it would be like having loans (the bill for treatment) and raising A child. Not, -having  loans and raising 6 children. Big difference because they all need everything times six and you cannot pay for them and the loans unless yer rich.

I guess I just take pride in being independent and would be pissed if I had to take handouts due to my negligence. I am picky and want to get my baby the special car seat, the special Stroller, specifically BabyPlanet, I want to buy my baby the clothes /I/ like, not ones someone donated, I want to use cloth diapers, not Huggies, and BHP free bottles. See where I'm going? I like when I buy things with my money. I also think it's a risk having 6 kids and not knowing for certain if people will help. What if I did it and everyone's like "screw that". Lol! But I guess that's my problem. I am not these other women and couples, and they obviously are doing what they feel will make them happy. But at least I would know that having one or two babies at a time would result in the healthiest possible babies I can produce because I can nurture them with the food I take in, and they have the space and room to be warm and comfortable, to learn and be safe and have their body, organs, and brain develop. Other excuses I've heard are that taxpayers are paying for them, but I am being taxed for other ridiculous things so I don't really care, plus, this is not a common situation. What I would care about are my children's health, and what they are getting to wear and eat.

After all this nitpicking, without pointing fingers at anyone in particular because they are NOT the first family to do this, and we all know this, I want to wish this and all the other families the best, because all children deserve to have the best possible life that can be given to them. So good luck and praying for some sleep for the McGhee family. :)

How To Treat Your Server When At A Restaurant Pt. 1

Some people seem to get a little too comfortable because you introduced yourself and brought them drinks. That does not mean you can complain because you did not read the ingredients in the food you ordered and did not get what you THOUGHT you would. Servers are not mind readers. And these are only suggestions, no need to get your panties in a bunch.

1) Smile at your server. No one wants to make conversation with a grump.

2) Read the menu if you've never ordered an item before. Ask questions on what is confusing to you.

3) Do not act like a sit-down restaurant is a fast food restaurant. Don't expect a large meal out in 5 minutes.

4) Talk calmly, do not yell.

5) Try to remember everything you want the first time the server asks if you need anything. 

6) Do not talk on the phone while ordering and expect your server to understand which comments were directed at them.

7) Do not leave your infant's diapers by the table for the server to clean up.

8) Do not cuss at your server.

9) Watch the isles for people walking.

10) Remember to tell a manager, or the cashier, if you were pleasantly happy with your time. :)

Any other suggestions?

A little about me...

This will be short and sweet and to the point. I tend to say things, lots of things. I will not regret anything I say, but I will say this: I do have a tendency to change my role in thinking. How I act and think changes constantly. One day I may not like something, and the next I may love it, it's just who I am. Take my thoughts with a cup of sugar and lighten up. I <3 You All. :)

OMG What are they thinking!? OMG Why do you care!?

So I pass over the title: Katie Holme's Outfit. So I figure maybe she has something cute on. Nope, they are worried about what trashy outfit the next celebrity has on. Anyone care to tell me WHY? Why is it all of a sudden if you're a celebrity you have to go out dressed up every single day? Why are you worried when someone eats something unhealthy or decided to wear baggy jeans? I don't care if Katie is upset, no one is forcing her to stay with Tom, so get off her nutsack! Maybe she just didn't feel like putting on makeup, doing her hair, and dressing up to walk down the street! it's that simple! Here you can see her outfit, and other celebrities outfits here: http://omg.yahoo.com/photos/what-were-they-thinking/3879/1?nc

Next in news, nothing much else has really bothered me. I don't necessarily come on when every little thing bothers me. Only sometimes. Otherwise, i would have a BUNCH of posts lol. But let's see. I am just about sick of politics and people and their complaints. Some group or something is complaining because Ronald McDonald...the iconic clown for McDonald's for decades, is complaining that he is influencing children to eat unhealthy foods. Tell me something people. Have parents lost the ability to tell their child no and offer a healthier food? Why is something ON TV bothering you? He's not in your home is he? Not to mention, Ronald is usually doing an activity in the commercials, why isn't jumping on pogo stick on the list on influences?

Back to Politics, I am just about sick of hearing everyone whining. "Ohhh I don't likeee thisssss, why won't he do it thiss wayyyy, he's not even Americannnn, he suckkssssss!" Okay, newsflash, no one in your life will ever try to please you to 100% so get over it assholes! He can't please all of you whiny b***es so get over it! You're not gonna die with health care! And don't tell me that the Government's debt is influencing you, taxes were gonna go up anyways so shut it!

"Belief In a Cruel God, Makes a Cruel Man."

Thomas Paine.

The words of a wise man! I cannot say that Philosophers were so wise though, lol. They thought too much, but maybe thinking about the world isn't such a bad thing. I think it depends on the way you do it. So this blog today is on religion. I guess I have been fluttered by recent events. I would like to point out that I am not sure how to express the following without seeming judgemental. And I can admit that maybe I am, but this is meant to be more opinion based - questioning the thoughts of others, and also the confusion of the many scenarios that engulf our lives. Above all, there is no attacking other religions here, everyone is free to believe what they wish (and do), as you are free to disagree with every last word I say.

Let's start with my religious background. I was baptized Methodist, and spent most of my youngly years in a Presbyterian Church. Not to say the least I found church very boring. There were only a few sermons here and there that seemed worth listening to. The only thing remotely joyful was reading the bible. In my adolescent years, I spent my time experimenting with different religions. I went from agnosticism, to atheism and (yes) Wiccan, then back to agnosticism. I am now without a religion and apparently they have a name: Nones. They now make up 15% of the population (supposedly), and some do believe in God, in fact the majority do. To put a name to myself you could even call me a Deist. In fact Deism is probably the most logical thing for me to believe in. It makes sense, and in the least, life should make sense. But the thought of joining another... group of sorts just scares me, though they do not seem so "radical" as revealed religions. It would be nice to talk to others who believe in what I believe in. And understand the things I understand.

So, i felt it necessary to reveal that in my case, all roads lead to God, just not the God that seems to be rather vengeful and cruel. I don't believe that even Hitler is in Hell. In my opinion, God would be a creative "punisher". Punishment is needed to guide loved ones, but it does not have to be cruel and unusual and should not be feared. I would think that anyone who is far from Holy returns to Earth to "try again", and learn a lesson, or must spend their years as a spirit of some sort. Of course, these are only speculations, and yes, I allow my mind to run wild. :) Whether or not the Devil exists is a mystery. Evil is in each  of us. There is an opposite to everything. there is self control in not acting on your "twin". I do not believe in a God where he send you to this Hell, because you did not follow Christianity, even if you did everything humanly right in  your  life. Considering that in the bible, Jews are highly mentioned. So why don't people follow Judaism when everything else (selectively) is followed in the Bible? Or is it because they crucified Jesus on the cross? All of a sudden they are a forbidden religion? As a side note: I will be using Bible verses as well, because since most highly regard it, that's what they can believe rather than the word of man (woman)...usually anyways. :-/

Speaking of the Bible, not to mention that people wrote what they believed were messages from God, there's a few different versions and all have been translated from some old language. If anyone has ever learned a second language, you notice that other languages have different word orders and meanings for their words.

Although I am highly disgusted that people's main excuse for spanking is not that: "I have a hard-headed child and I have no clue what else to do." but rather, "The bible says so." Well...no it doesn't. The common quote "Spare the rod, spoil the child." seems rather foul, don't you think? A ROD, really? Don't try to tell me a rod is some some soft stick. When i hear rod, I think of a metal pole. Does that sound humane to you? Of course there are other definitions of rod, but none of them seem sound enough to be used as a spanking tool. Now, as mentioned above, translating takes a little bit of work because of word meanings. With that said, rod can be interpreted in another more sensible way. And here to help me will be the following website: http://www.raptureforums.com/FeaturedCommentary/sparetherod.cfm Now this is not meant to start a spanking debate, those are endless and dimes a dozen. I just want a more sensible reason then "The Bible says so." And quite frankly, I don't see anything big wrong with it, if it's: A) Not you're only form of discipline, and B) it's controlled. We should all take a closer look at nature. Animals in the wild nip at their children to teach them a lesson, (it's a harder world for them don't ya know), but imagine them putting the force of a rod behind their bite. That's the only point I'm trying to make, but by all means, if you need to, spank. I've finally come to terms with this concept, but that does not mean I don't still have something to say, as usual!

Evil, also seems to be abounding greatly in this world of ours. Everyone in the spotlight (rappers, singers, the government) are supposedly evil. One example of this is Beyonce' wearing a Baphomet ring. Before I go on, people should research the Illuminati and Masonic beliefs. They are both confusing because there's a bunch of misleading information on both. But no one wants to do all of that right? Well neither do I. Moving on. The ring that Beyonce wore was a RAM from the Banana Republic. The blurry photos are misleading causing people to believe weird thing. Go here: http://www.brrepublic.com/home.html and click exclusives to see the RAM. Not to mention that it's a RAM'S SKULL, and not a Goat's live head...live being...a terrible description lol. And here's a better photo: http://twitpic.com/1gkhya and then this blogger exposes it as well: http://immaculatebacktalk.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/the-truth-behind-beyonces-devil-ring/ Hell, even I would buy it because I am an Aries. But I know that these photos mean nothing as they have thousands more for their "proof" that people of a higher status are evil. I am endlessly baffled at the fact that people would like to dig for evil rather than good. On top of that, listening to music does not possess you. If you don't carry yourself in a sluttish, whorish matter, then why does it matter that I was bumping Single Ladies last night? On top of that, no one asks anybody anything anymore, they just assume on "hidden" meanings. Not to mention that some are so quick to also, criminalize these famous people's religions because they don't align with their own, i.e. scientology. They have to sing/rap about God every step of the way to be "Holy" but this is only the surface on some's hypocrisy. The surface I tell you! There's just a lot of he said she said. The media is very good at getting people to believe just about anything, and no one bothers to question where they got their information from. Ever played the telephone game and wonder why at the end someone says something WAY off from what you heard. Learn to follow yourself and not because something MADE up says that you should follow it! And I'm referring to the ridiculous belief that artists are in some secret society. The artists are getting so much more attention from those that are so absolutely worried that they are corrupting the youth. Well let me tell you something. The only corruption comes from wanting to use Diet Pepsi cans to roll my hair, because no child is worried about the friggin' dynasty sign that Jay-Z is throwing up. Just like the ones that believe in this nonsense because they have been tricked into doing so, but not knowing any fact, kids are only singing lyrics and throwing up signs because their idol is doing it, they have no clue what the supposed hidden meaning is. Not to mention that Jay-Z was accused of stealing his, now popular, symbol, so does that still make it terrible??

Romans 14:10 But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.
Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.

Let's also keep in mind that many people dream of becoming a celebrity. The whole Illuminati situation pretty much says that they shouldn't because they will become an Illuminati. So pretty much, everyone in the music industry is weak minded and can't think for themselves...well gee that sounds quite similar to the people who believe in this in the first place. But this is enough of that crap. There's more information to dig out!

I mention hypocrites, for the simple fact that many people pick and choose Bible verses. Homosexuality would be a good example.

But before I get to that I want to return to the quote in the subject. "Belief In a Cruel God, Makes a Cruel Man." How can a loving God also be an angry God? He will be angry with us for many things as stated in the Bible. But anger is a human emotion. God is a holy being, he cannot be human and immortal. I don't want to have to live my life in fear of what God would do to me if I make a mistake, I remember those days hiding in fear, why should I fear someone who should be above normal human emotions? It just does not seem right. I would rather be loved by God. Therefore I do not fear, I do my best for God loves me.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. - 1 John 4:18 (Should not have to fear God!)

Back to Homosexuality. This again returns to the accuracies of said Bible and how people pick and choose.
"'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. -Leviticus 20:13". I don't see anyone suggesting death here, but it clearly says so! It says we must do it! But this is too cruel for one to fathom then huh? Especially if it's your own son. But if you follow the Bible, the Bible is word, how can you disagree with such a statement? On top of this, there is new information on Soy Milk, and who knows how many other foods, (with the exception of Soy), that are being added with chemicals that no one cares to study how they effect the human body. So, you give your new growing son soy milk, and he develops thoughts similar to womens because his body is surging with estrogen! So he is attracted to men now because of this! Do we fault a child and "put to death" someone when it is the fault of the food they ate? We punish because of outside influences? And then many are so quick to refute studies that could prove that homosexuality is genetic, but yet believe other more ridiculous situations...such as above, based on theory. I don't know how many men WANT to be gay, have you seen what happens to some of them? The ridicule, the torture that some of them endure? Yeah..that makes it SO cool to be homosexual.

I think this will be all for now. I am highly tired lol. And I feel better sort of. :)

Have a nice day, and don't forget to think first, and act later.

Matthew 5:44 "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,

John 13:34 - I am giving you a new commandment to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another.